Christine’s Story
Hi, my name is Christine. I am a partner, daughter, cousin, granddaughter, sister, mother of two, and a proud bonus mum to another two.
Early Life
I grew up in a loving home and spent seven years at a Catholic school in the small town of Feilding. Although I’m not religious, those years taught me the importance of values and respect for others.
Mental health was part of my life early on. My oldest half-brother was diagnosed with ADHD, and my youngest brother lived with Asperger’s syndrome and epilepsy. When my half-brother tragically passed away in a car accident, I held his hand in hospital as he lay in a coma. The grief was overwhelming, but my love for both of them shaped the way I learned to understand people’s minds without judgment.
Now, as a mother, my own son has been diagnosed with ADHD and severe post-traumatic stress, so my journey with mental health continues.
Teenage Years & Early Adulthood
At 12, I moved to Christchurch to start high school. I didn’t know anyone and felt scared and alone. Wanting desperately to belong, I lost sight of who I was. I began smoking, using drugs, wasting money, and getting into fights.
By my early 20s, I had hit rock bottom. My friends had moved on, but I was left with debt and regret. I tried to change course by paying off my debt through community work. During that time, I met a man who, at first, seemed kind and supportive. Unfortunately, that relationship became toxic and dangerous.
Surviving Abuse
What started as protectiveness turned into obsession and control. I became isolated, my anxiety worsened, and I felt like I was just surviving. Soon came manipulation, violence, and abuse. I was beaten, strangled, dragged, spat on, and humiliated—even while pregnant.
I eventually realised that my son was being harmed too. The stress I carried while pregnant affected him deeply, and I could no longer stay. After countless police visits, protection orders, and moving from house to house, I finally broke free.
A New Chapter
Five years ago, I met my loving partner, who accepts me completely, supports me without judgment, and has stood beside me in every struggle.
But the challenges didn’t end there. My son has struggled with regulating his emotions and often lives in fight-or-flight mode. He loves fiercely, feels deeply, and seeks justice when he sees something wrong. But his path has been filled with exclusion from schools and programmes, long waits for professional help, and heartbreak after losing his biological father to violence nearly two years ago.
Through it all, I’ve worked tirelessly alongside school psychologists, therapists, and community organisations. While progress has been slow and the system has many gaps, I’ve learned more than I ever thought possible about resilience, patience, and the importance of advocating for children’s mental health.
What I’ve Learned
Looking back, I wish I knew then what I know now about mental health. Too often people would tell me, “He was just a baby, he won’t remember.” But what they couldn’t see were the high cortisol levels I lived with while pregnant — stress that became my son’s “normal.” We are still working through those effects today.
I’ve also learned that the system doesn’t always meet children where they’re at. Waiting years for specialist support is far too common. But I believe strongly that sharing stories like mine helps shine a light on these issues and brings us closer to real change.
A Message of Hope
Today, I stand not just as a survivor, but as someone determined to create change. My journey has been filled with hardship, but also with moments of love, strength, and courage.
To anyone walking a similar path:
- You are not alone.
- Your struggles do not define you.
- There is always hope, even in the hardest times.
My story isn’t over — it’s only the beginning of helping others see that no matter what we’ve endured, we can rise above it, support our children, and build a better future together.
